Fair Warning

Okay, you husbands out there, listen to Myrtle. I know
it’s the beginning of summer, so you’ll have plenty of
time to think about this. Christmas is coming, eventually.
You know those pantyhose your wife bought recently?
The really expensive ones?

Listen to me! Are you paying attention? Turn that sound
down on the baseball game. This is more important. And
don’t give me that look.

Your cute idea of putting all those lovely little stocking
stuffer gifts in the legs of those pantyhose is a NO-NO!
Your wife will not even SEE the darling trinkets and
bright little goodies you’ve put so much thought into
getting for her. She will only notice that her precious
pair of pantyhose are now all out of shape and nine feet
long.

Trust me, this is NOT how you want to begin Christmas
Day. Unless you’ve bought a brand new couch, because
you may be using it for a while.

Fair warning. Okay, you can turn the sound back up on
the game now.